he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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