Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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