at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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