he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A bitchslap is in order.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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