i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
