those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
