Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
