so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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