I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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