so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
