You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
