What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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