you suck at this game today
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"