Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
