I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
