ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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