i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
