All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
