pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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