it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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