You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's the barista slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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