her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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