I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
