Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
