Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just invented taco cereal.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
