i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
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I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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