hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
