Only a mothe r could love this liver
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
