There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
