Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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