summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
