i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
