I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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