so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So vagazzling was a success
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
