Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
