Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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