He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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