You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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