Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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