oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
