I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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