I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
