god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
