her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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