Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.