why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.