Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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