He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
