Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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