is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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