I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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