I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
