its not stalking. its research.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
