I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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