if i can run in heels then i can drive
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
