he shaved USA in his pubs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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