Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
id be glad to
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
