Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the condom got lost in my hair
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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