Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
