Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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