dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so let's talk penis.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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