Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....

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(305): View more from Florida

It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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(712): View more from Iowa

Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth

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(646): View more from New York

I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster

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(404): View more from Georgia

I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm bleeding and have questions

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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.

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