This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
