We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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