you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize