I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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