I faked an abortion last night.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
