Your tits are I can't wait for
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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