Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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