By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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