Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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