There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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